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New Years Resolutions - You Can Keep

A place for clean jokes

Moderators: WildKatsKitty, Ravenheart

New Years Resolutions - You Can Keep

Postby Ravenheart on Tue Nov 13, 2007 9:01 pm

New Years Resolutions You Can Keep

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less. Makes you think.
4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Don't date any of the Baywatch cast.
7. Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.
8. Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine.
9. Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
10. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
11. Don't have eight children at once.
12. Get in a whole NEW rut!
13. Start being superstitious.
14. Personal goal: bring back disco.
15. Don't wrestle with Jesse Ventura.
16. Don't bet against the Minnesota Vikings.
17. Buy an '83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.
18. Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash.
19. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.
20. Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.
21. Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.
22. Don't eat cloned meat.
23. Create loose ends.
24. Get more toys.
25. Get further in debt.
26. Don't believe politicians.
27. Break at least one traffic law.
28. Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
29. Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.
30. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
31. Stay off the MIR space station.
32. Don't worry that the Y2K bug will cause the end of the world.
33. Get wired with high-speed net connections at home.
34. Don't swim with pirhanas or sharks.
35. Associate with even worse business clients.
36. Spread out priorities beyond ability to keep track of them.
37. Wait around for opportunity.
38. Focus on the faults of others.
39. Mope about faults.
40. Never make New Year's resolutions again.
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Sweet darling you worry too much - My child see the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life - Although you might think that you are

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Ravenheart
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Postby sunmoonstar on Tue Nov 13, 2007 9:13 pm

I"ve done #40 and kept it
Dragons are watching and guiding from near and far.
My heart lies with them, the sun, moon, and the stars.

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sunmoonstar
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....

Postby Francesca on Wed Nov 14, 2007 8:02 am

lol.. now that I think about it.. my resolution last year was to lose all the baby weight I had gained from being pregnant with my son... I lost all but 6 pounds.. and I'm pregnant again and have gain 11 so far... does that count as me keeping the resolution?!
Francesca
Tau (The World)
 
Posts: 567
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 8:44 am
Location: vancouver,wa

Postby Ravenheart on Wed Nov 14, 2007 8:46 am

Well you look great so I think maybe you done your res haha
*hugs*
Hope its all going well for you

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Raven Heart
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Sweet darling you worry too much - My child see the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life - Although you might think that you are

Within Temptation
User avatar
Ravenheart
Amddiffynnwr am y Bran
 
Posts: 2067
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 7:46 pm
Location: Cwmbrán - Wales

....

Postby Francesca on Thu Nov 15, 2007 9:18 am

lol yea things are going pretty good.. been having a few pains though :S but nothing different than when I was pregnant before... and my weight is coming on..hehe
Francesca
Tau (The World)
 
Posts: 567
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 8:44 am
Location: vancouver,wa

Postby Ravenheart on Thu Nov 15, 2007 10:29 am

*sits back and awaits 6 month photo*
hehe
Hope she goes easy on you ;)

BB

Raven Heart
Image
Sweet darling you worry too much - My child see the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life - Although you might think that you are

Within Temptation
User avatar
Ravenheart
Amddiffynnwr am y Bran
 
Posts: 2067
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 7:46 pm
Location: Cwmbrán - Wales

Postby sunmoonstar on Thu Nov 15, 2007 8:43 pm

have you decided or narrowed down a name?
Dragons are watching and guiding from near and far.
My heart lies with them, the sun, moon, and the stars.

Image
User avatar
sunmoonstar
Protector of Dragons
 
Posts: 373
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 7:52 pm
Location: Belgium

....

Postby Francesca on Fri Nov 16, 2007 6:06 am

lol ravenheart.. soon, soon.. I'm thinking about just taking one in the next week.. my tummy is alot bigger than it that pic now! crazy how fast it's growing! and sunmoonstar I will say the name in the baby name thingy :D
Francesca
Tau (The World)
 
Posts: 567
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 8:44 am
Location: vancouver,wa


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